(Dump #8)
I’m staring at my phone, waiting for a message I know isn’t coming. It’s not even about someone I like—I just kind of got used to the attention. You know that feeling? When you don’t even care that much, but the moment they stop giving you their energy, you suddenly feel... off? Yeah. That.
Anyway, I made myself a snack to distract myself from my brain’s nonsense. Except now, I’m overanalyzing why I even want them to text me back. Do I actually enjoy their presence? Or do I just enjoy how they make me feel about myself? It's terrifying to think about. Because, let’s be honest—sometimes it’s not about them. It’s about the fact that someone looked at you and thought, “Yeah, I’ll put my time into this person.” And we eat that up.
Anyway, let’s overthink together.
The Art of Liking Someone Who Likes You First
Have you ever caught yourself suddenly noticing someone just because they noticed you first? Like, you weren’t even thinking about them that way, but the second they start acting interested, it’s like your brain glitches and suddenly you’re analyzing every interaction for hidden romantic meaning?
And the funniest part? If someone stops giving you attention, you start spiraling. You don’t even know if you truly liked them, but now they’re unavailable, and your ego is in shambles. Wait, come back, I wasn’t done enjoying being perceived.
Psychologists actually have a name for this—reciprocal liking. It’s basically the idea that we’re more likely to be attracted to someone just because they show interest in us. Not because we suddenly realized they’re the love of our life, but because they made us feel wanted. And being wanted? That’s a drug.
I mean, let’s be honest. Have you ever felt slightly more attractive after someone developed a crush on you? Not because you actually changed overnight, but because someone out there decided you were worthy of admiration, and now, for some reason, that makes you reassess your own worth.
But here’s where it gets a little unsettling—if we’re so easily influenced by who likes us, then are our feelings even real? Or are we just reacting to the way people make us feel about ourselves?
Do You Like Them or Do You Like Who You Are Around Them?
Here’s the real question: if someone you’re interested in had never liked you first, would you have ever liked them? Or would you have just kept walking, emotionally unbothered, until someone else came along and gave you attention instead?
Think about your past crushes. How many of them were fueled by who they were versus how they treated you? Because sometimes, it’s not even about them—it’s about the way they made you feel in their presence.
Did they make you feel interesting? Attractive? Special? Did they laugh at your jokes in a way that made you feel like the funniest person alive? Sometimes, attraction isn’t about the person at all. It’s about the mirror they hold up to you.
And if that mirror breaks—if they stop texting, if they move on, if they lose interest—what exactly are we mourning? Them? Or the version of ourselves that existed when they were around?
The Ego Trap We All Fall Into
I read once that our brains are wired to seek validation before actual connection. Which makes sense, because have you ever noticed that people suddenly become 10x more interesting the second they start ignoring you? It’s like your brain takes it personally. How dare they not crave my presence?
It’s not even about love—it’s about the need to feel important. That’s why some people will stay in situationships or one-sided attractions for way too long, not because they’re truly in love, but because they hate the idea of losing their spot as someone’s favorite person.
And let’s be real: rejection is offensive. Even when you don’t actually want someone, there’s something about them not wanting you that feels illegal. It’s like, "excuse me, that’s not how this is supposed to go."
So… Is Attraction Even Real?
Here’s where my brain is spiraling: If so much of our attraction is based on how someone makes us feel, then how do we even know if we genuinely like them? Or are we just responding to their validation, like moths to a flame, like kids chasing after the shiniest toy in the room?
And worse—if someone stops giving us attention, do we miss them or do we just miss the emotional high they gave us?
It makes me wonder how many people are together not because they’re truly in love, but because they got addicted to the feeling of being wanted. And on the flip side, how many people are not together simply because neither one took the risk of making the first move?
What if the difference between love and indifference is just… who spoke up first?
I don’t know. Maybe I’m overthinking. (Actually, no—overthinking is literally my brand at this point.) But now I’m sitting here wondering if I even like half the people I thought I liked, or if my brain just latched onto them because they liked me first.
Anyway. I just got a notification. It was a spam email. BEAUTIFUL.